There are days, weeks, months where inspiration strikes and all is right in the world.  Then there are the times when I have hit a brick wall- no inspiration, no motivation, nothing to write.  And I think that’s okay, right?  I mean we all need a time out from the everyday sometimes.  But if I am to supposedly be this “shining example” for people, the honesty needs to come through and shine.  And here’s today’s piece of clareity: We all lose faith and hope sometimes.  AND THAT’S OKAY.  We all fall victim to that emotional cycle of doubt/fear.  That’s life!

Recently, I’ve become a victim of wicked, super wicked dreams.  Not necessarily nightmares, but dreams that are just wicked.  I’m talking like not evil, but like frightening things that could either be reality, or just things that frighten me about the world/life.  I can’t even recall the basis of many of these dreams, but…let’s just say they seem to vivid, that many times I forget whether I’m dreaming or if the dream is actually reality.  Tell me I’m not alone?  (not every night, just 1-2 nights a week).  I know the root cause of these nights, end is in sight.

Sometimes being “on” gets exhausting.  Turning “off” and taking a “time out” is beyond needed.

So between the sleeplessness and my upcoming “retirement” from my desk job, I’ve been succumbing to panic-mode.  Why?  That’s a good question.  I should be happy, relieved, and overall excited to start the next chapter in my life.  I should be excited to become a stay at home mom, a Jamberry full-timer, and not have to worry about taking a sick day or vacation day just because the little human is sick or something.  I should be excited that I will be my own boss, on my own terms, on my own schedule.  But something indescribable is overwhelming these thoughts.

I took a time out for a few days.  (you probably didn’t notice- I had posts prescheduled for my Monday/Thursday posting days, but took a week off).  I NEEDED a time out.  I needed to stop thinking of things that were stressing me out.  Thankfully a big blizzard shut down all of New York state and I took another day off as a result, so between those two days and the longer-ish weekend, I was able to shut my mind down and focus.  I started browsing Pinterest, Instagram, and other silly things for mental rejuvenation and relaxation.  I found clareity.

Thank you, Pinterest, for all the wasted time, and rabbit holes of endless possibilities.

The “Time Out” worked. I’ve also been ADDICTED to Boho Berry, and her youtube channel.  Something about planning calms me down.  And because I was so inspired (I was like “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie…”) I started bullet journaling for my own self.  I’m about a week in, and I’m noticing a difference.  I’m excited for April.  I’ll be able to really keep this new found habit up for the new month, tracking everything possible.  I’m really addicted to Boho Berry and her daily/weekly/monthly spreads.  Sounds like lots of work, but the panic has been subsiding.  Why?  Bujo.

A few more days of Bullet Journaling and I’ll get back to you…

 

 

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